A New Year / A New Day

As usual I spent a lot of time thinking about what my goals were going to be for the New Year.  2015 was going to start with a whole host of goals, most of which probably avoided the larger questions about my life, but they were good.  They were quantifiable.  They were measurable.  They were recordable on a spread sheet.  These are the kinds of goals I love.

They weren’t wishy-washy, ill-defined things like, I will be more creative in 2015.  Or I will read more in 2015.  Or I will eat healthier in 2015.  No, these things were specific.  These things were not negotiable.

So, for your viewing pleasure, here is what I set out for myself to accomplish in 2015:

1. Read 100 books
2. Read 365 essays
3. Star using Goodreads again to track my books read and to write reviews of all my books read
4. Join weight watchers and lose 30 lbs (I know this is a little TMI, but it is a goal, and I am looking for honesty and accountability here.) (Dr. visit the last week of December 2014 was the precipitating event, with a choice between more diabetes medication or losing the weight. I asked the Dr. to give me three months to see if I could take the weight off.)
5. Increase my blog posting to a blog post a week. 52 blog posts this year.

So, almost a month in to 2015, how am I doing?

Well, not to be immodest, but I am doing pretty well.  I am on track to accomplish all of the goals except one.   And, it is probably the most visible of all of my 2015 goals.  I have yet to write or post a blog post.  My little schedule of Wednesday blog posts, one a week for the entire year is already shot.

If I stumble in my other goals, if I fall behind on reading, or plateau or gain a couple of pounds…what will I do…well…I think I will do what it takes to get back on track.  I will not make excuses.  So. That is what I will do with my blog posts.   I will write and share and post and I will get caught up.

So, I plan to write about what I am reading, what I am learning, about my travels, about my writing, about addiction and being an AA Atheist.

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Escaping Freedom

Last Sunday my husband, Reverend Rod Richards used some of my memoir-in-progress as the reading before his sermon.  His sermon, entitled, Escaping Freedom was a sermon about addiction and the idea that while addicts seek freedom in thier drug of choice, they really only find the freedom they seek when they surrender and learn to make the daily choice of living without the drug.

This is the second time Rod has used some of my memoir-in-progress as the reading in a sermon on addiction, and each time I have been very flattered, and each time I have learned from this experience. 

This particular piece was written last summer at a cabin in Park Rapids, Minnesota.  I was struggling with health issues, I was struggling with my writing.  I didn’t feel that I did anything productive, but when I selected this to share with Rod and the congregation at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Southeastern Arizona in Sierra Vista, Arizona, and now with the readers of my blog, I feel good that although my output in terms of words last summer was low, there were at least some words worth saving.

UUCSEA Reading for 01/18/2012

Excerpted from a memoir-in-progress by Hanje Richards:

 

When I was in treatment 30 years ago and in a halfway house after that and at AA meetings for a long time after that, I kept wondering if anyone was ever going to tell us what it was like after they got sober.

Truth is, people hardly ever do.  People love to tell their drunk-a-logs.  And for good reason.  When you tell the story of what it was like, you probably have some funny moments, some sad moments, some dramatic moments.  You get the chance to make some amends and take some responsibility for the things that you did.  You tell that story and you have people sitting on the edge of their seats.  (They are not falling off their seats though, because you are obviously alive and able to tell your story, so they know that there must be a happy ending.)

Usually these stories end something like this:  “I got sober.  I attend meetings regularly and I work my program…Oh, and I am getting married to Fred in 6 months.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…just a minute, little missy!  Tell us a little more about Fred.  How did you meet him?  Did you know him before you got sober?  Did you meet him at a meeting?  How long have you been together?  What do you do on dates?  And, speaking of meetings…how many do you attend a week?  Do you go alone or with Fred?  How is sober sex?  Do you have a job?  Did you go to school?  Have you been able to read books, because when I read a book, I can’t remember the beginning by the time I get to the end.  And that started after I got sober.  Have you gained weight?  Do you still stay in contact with old friends?  “Using” friends?  How has that worked out?  Have you paid your debts from before?  Is life really better now?” 

That is what I want to know.  I want to know the boring, daily, everyday, put one foot in front of the other nitty-gritty of life in sobriety…

When I celebrated my 30 years of sobriety and got my 30 year chip at my Narcotics Anonymous meeting, I felt good.  I knew I had so far beaten the odds by not ending up jailed, institutionalized or dead.  But it was also a time for me to reflect on all of my brothers and sisters in addiction who do not make it.  Those who always count their clean time in hours or days, weeks or months. Those who move from one drug to another, hoping they will achieve something like that first high, something like the ultimate escape, and also hopeful that they will wake again tomorrow, if only to follow the same pursuit.

My Friend Julie

I first met Julie about 5 years ago.  It was at a Unitarian Universalist Pacific Southwest District Assembly in Riverside, California. I was a vendor selling jewelry, books. chalices and a variety of other stuff.  Julie was a vendor selling an idea.  She may have had a brochure and a business card.  She had a smile that insisted you repay in kind.  Her booth was behind mine, and, as I had shown a passing interest, we chatted a lot that weekend.  She revealed to me that she was quite new to the Unitarian Universalist church and she had discovered it at about the same time she discovered recovery through Alcoholis Anyonymous.  She had a vision and she was at the District Assembly to share her vision.

I was an old timer.  I was born into the Unitarian Universalist chuch.  One of those “born Unitarians” that you sometimes hear about.  I had also been in recovery from drugs and alchohol for a lot of years…about 25 years at that point.  I thought Julie was nice, but kind of naïve.  I wished her well and enjoyed our conversations between customers. 

Last summer I was walking though the hall of vendors at the UUA General Assembly in Minneapolis and I ran into Julie again.  Her hair was a different color, but her smile was as engaging as ever, and I would have recognized her anywhere.  Julie was at a booth at General Assembly and The Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) Addictions Ministry and The Addictions & Recovery Ministry of the Unitarian Universalist Pacific Southwest District are now real things.  (Below are their mission statements and websites).  Julie’s dream was a reality and lots of ministers and congregations were getting involved in this movement. 

I saw Julie a few more times over the week.  She had organized AA meetings and Rational Recovery meetings every day of the Assembly.  I attended twice, with an old friend, and life-long Unitarian Universalist who had recently joined the fellowship of AA.

In between those two meetings with Julie, I was able to attend a workshop at another District Assembly about Addiction and Recovery Ministries which was lead by several UU ministers from California, as well as congregants from some of their churches.  The workshop was interesting and informative and I was beginning to feel connected to this movement. Lots of important issues were discussed as well as how some of these churches had been incorporating this healing ministry into their churches. 

Last year we bought a book at Julie’s booth called The Addiction Ministry Handbook: A Guide For Faith Communities by Denis Meacham.  The book provides practical steps and information for faith communities serving members affected by drug and alcohol abuse.  It outlines:

1. The basic of drug abuse—from the causes of chemical dependence and the progression of drug use to the six stages toward changing addictve behavior.
2. The special role of faith comunities and pastoral caregives in supporting recovery.
3. Programming and initiatives that form the core of a congregational-bassed addiction ministry.
4. An alcohol abuse assessment tool, a congregational addiction assessment questionnaire and a list of web sites and books for futher information.

Some churches have had a series of workshops educating themselves about addiction and recovery in the same way the church I attend has had workshops on immigration issues and on LGBT issues when we were on our way to becoming a Welcoming Congregation.  Some UU churches have worked on making the 12 steps and 12 traditions of 12 step groups and the 7 Principles and 6 sources of Unitarian Universalism, which have some similarities, work together in an ongoing way through addiction and recovery ministry.

As I look forward General Assembly this year at the end of June,. I hope that Julie will be there so we can reconnect and share our experiences over the past year.  I have changed my haircolor several times this year and I am looking forward to seeing what color Julie’s hair is this summer!  We will recognize each other because we have a deep connection even though we have only met a few times.  I hope there will be more workshops on adiction and recovery ministry that I can attend.  I hope I will learn ways to bring back what I learn to my friends in recovery and my fellow congregants.  I hope that there will be AA meetings during the Assembly which will give me a chance to regroup, learn from others from around the country and center myself in the midst of what can be a whrlwind of activity and a very exhausting few days.

The Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) Addictions Ministry is called to walk together with congregations and religious professionals to educate individuals, families, congregations and communities about the suffering caused by addiction.

Our purpose in doing this ministry is to transform cultures of misuse and abuse into cultures of healing, wholeness, and health.

http://www.uua.org/leaders/leaderslibrary/addictionsministry/131107.shtml

The Addictions & Recovery Ministry of the Unitarian Universalist Pacific Southwest District promotes and supports programs in UU organizations in Southern California, Southern Nevada and Arizona that are in alignment with our UU principles, that support addiction prevention and recovery for our church congregations and the larger community.

We hope to foster the development of addictions ministries throughout our denomination through sharing with Unitarian Universalists interested in the challenges and effects of addictions within our congregations and the larger society and to build connections and networks among them

http://www.pswdaddictions.org

Worship Services

Although Rod has not been preaching during his sabbatical, and I have not attended an actual church service since we left Bisbee, I have had lots of opportunities to attend worship services.  In addition to the Sunday Morning Worship at General Assembly, which included the sermon “Our Greatest Challenge” by the new UUA President, Reverend Peter Morales, there were many worship services at both the ICUU Ministers’ Conference and the Theological Symposium.

The Sunday Morning Worship at GA is huge, which is probably its most stunning feature.  Hearing thousands of voices singing hymns together is a powerful and moving experience for me.  Hearing Peter Morales speak about the challenge of keeping visitors to our churches engaged and interested and coming back was motivating (and I suspect something that people in congregations everywhere will be discussing in a variety of venues over the months to come). 

I love to attend worship services at General Assembly.  In fact, when asked what I like about GA by a minister from another city, attending worship was the first thing that came to mind. This General Assembly I did not attend as many of the worship services as I usually do, so that was something of a disappointment for me.

Size is not the only thing that is interesting to me about the services at GA.  I am always fascinated by the things that various ministers focus on and emphasize in their services and just the opportunity to hear a variety of points of view makes it all very interesting.  Generally speaking, the speakers/ministers are very good.  In some of the larger venues there is a great deal of attention paid to all of the parts of a service from the lighting of the chalice to the music to the closing words.

At the ICUU Minister’s Conference and Theological Symposium, there was a worship scheduled for every morning and every evening.  The services were presented by people from all over the world.  The services were short, generally about a half an hour, and they went from the very serious to the very playful.  I attended every service and found it to be a wonderful way to start and end each day. (For those keeping score, there were a total of 13 services during the week at Rolduck.)

The first morning worship was led by an American and an Australian who both are working as Unitarian ministers in England, that evening the service was led by a sitar-playing minister from the Czech Republic.  The next morning worship was led by several ministers from Transylvania.  Later in the week we had services led by ministers from the Philippines, Uganda, South Africa and Canada.

It was fascinating to hear these ministers speak with their various accents and perspectives.  Coming from such a variety of backgrounds both personally and in terms of the churches that they serve, it was a mosaic of faces and voices and approaches. 

Most of the services that I attended had things in common; most of them had music and chalice lightings and a verbal message from the leaders of the worship.  But some included dancing, greeting and sharing things with the other people in attendance.  Some of the worship leaders sang, often engaging the rest of us.  (I was fascinated by how quickly they were able to teach us new songs.)  The services we held primarily in English, as it was the chosen language for the ICUU Ministers’ Conference and the ICUU Theological Symposium, however many people would share a blessing or a prayer in their own language as part of the worship, or as a way to open or close the worship. 

Ministers took the occasion of the worship services to move our minds, our hearts, our hands and sometimes even our dancing feet.  Each leader used his or her own ways to involve the group and some were wildly successful, others marginally so. 

No matter how tired I was at the end of each day, no matter how much I would have liked to sneak back to my room for a little post-breakfast nap, I pushed myself to attend the worships each morning and night and I was never sorry that I did.

If you attend or belong to the UUCSEA (Unitarian Universalist Church of Southeastern Arizona), I suspect you may hear echoes of some of these voices, some of these traditions, some of these messages over the year to come.  They were a powerful part of our experience.